The Occasional Observer

You can read the rest at AmSpecBlog.

Environmentalists say drilling would endanger Alaska's caribou population, but let's face it, with gas prices this high, any caribou foolish enough to stand between Americans and an estimated 86 billion barrels of oil is likely to become roadkill.

Having done extensive research on the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, I find that wildlife experts and energy policy analysts agree that caribou don't do anything to improve fuel efficiency. Even if you grind up a caribou and put him in your gas tank, scientists say, your mileage will not be significantly enhanced, regardless of the sadistic pleasure you might get from grinding up a caribou.

Sadistic feelings toward caribou are on the rise, psychologists warn. Increasingly, American motorists are asking themselves, "What have those stinking caribou ever done for us?"

He also gets in a little shot at his home-state Senator:

Say what you will about Hezbollah and al-Qaeda, they've at least been neutral on drilling ANWR, which is more than can be said for Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Maryland).

As a conservationist, I must dissent from Mr. McCain, amusing as he is. A healthy caribou herd is necessary for a caribou hunt. A caribou hunt is necessary for...well, it's just plain old necessary.